I Want A Divorce!!!

01 Sep


The big “D”. That thing that happens to “other people” and “other families”. Divorce, an affront to God’s greatest creation. More and more lately I have been hearing from people who are considering divorce, and to be honest, I have even mentioned it myself a time or two when things got “rough”. Consider that last sentence for a moment. If you are a regular reader of my blog you will be familiar with the “rough times” that my husband and I have experienced as a couple, as a family and as parents. Let me tell you that the little trials which have prompted the “D” word lately are NOTHING when compared to what we have experienced together in the past. This is why I know that the over-abundance of divorce talk on all fronts is designed by satan for such a time as this.

Divorce Court, that popular “dramatized reality show”, actually premiered in its first incarnation in the 1950s, and then reappeared in 1985. Its 1957 run lasted for 12 years and when it came back in 1985 it has lasted until now. It doesn’t take a genius to figure out why a show that promotes, glamorizes and glosses over the devastating effects of divorce is the longest running reality series on television. Programming again. I don’t watch a whole lot of television but I do enough reading to know that network broadcasters have been huge proponents of the spirit of divorce, and yes I call it a spirit, which I will explain later. In 2011 networks produced EIGHT divorced themed shows for one season; Happily Divorced, Free Agents, Ex Men, Other People’s Kids, just to name a few. Not to mention that any public figure(s) who decide to divorce become instant news. Let’s face it, divorce is popular just as homosexuality is popular – do you get the connection?

In his ongoing mission to destroy God’s creation, family, satan has set in motion many ways of doing just that. He also has his minions ready to offer us many excuses for the easy out of divorce:

  • Financial mismanagement
  • Lack of equality
  • Inability to get along
  • Abuse
  • Unrealistic expectations
  • Infidelity

And again, these all, except for abuse and infidelity, excuses. In our “vows” we state, “for better or for worse”, so how come at the first sign of financial strain we are ready to bail on our spouse? The moment the electric gets turned off we say, “Oh I ain’t get married to be sitting up in the dark homeboy. I can do bad all by myself”, and other pathetic quotes taken from Madea ( <—- which is a whole ‘nother blog post in itself). 🙂 Let me help you out my dear brothers and sisters because I have been where you’re at, or possibly where you are heading; I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that marriage is not easy. I know that some days with that person you married will be hard to get through, I understand the animosity that might build up until you feel you will explode. I’ve felt the anger, the resentment, the distastefulness, and every other foul spirit that satan can ply you with so that your heart is turned from the person God bound you to. I KNOW! I also know this, emotions and feelings are deceitful. They are meant to supersede the things of God; this is why God tells us to keep our minds stayed on HIM, that is where perfect peace comes from. Eve’s issue in the garden is that she allowed satan to get into her mind and have her forget the mandate that God had given she and Adam. In like manner as wives and husbands we also forget.

Malachi 2:15-16, And did not he make one? Yet had he the residue of the spirit. And wherefore one? That he might seek a godly seed. Therefore take heed to your spirit, and let none deal treacherously against the wife of his youth. For the Lord, the God of Israel, saith that he hateth putting away;”

The evil Pharisees of Jesus’ time were just as these network televisions shows are today, repeatedly tempting us into a sinful act that God does not endorse nor condone:

The Pharisees also came unto him, tempting him, and saying unto him, Is it lawful for a man to put away his wife for every cause?And he answered and said unto them, Have ye not read, that he which made them at the beginning made them male and female,

And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh? Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder. – Matt. 19:3-6.

To tempt him even further they brought up Moses:

They say unto him, Why did Moses then command to give a writing of divorcement, and to put her away?He saith unto them, Moses because of the hardness of your hearts suffered you to put away your wives: but from the beginning it was not so. And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery.

Of course these scriptures are not popular because they give no leeway for our selfish desires (yes selfish, read the blog title again) to walk away from a “constricting” marriage where bills are paid late, or not enough attention is paid to one person or the other or because of hurt feelings. No, God knew what He was doing when he created marriage, but we would rather fall into the trap of the enemy by playing the pawn in his chess game of Operation Destroy the Traditional Family. Yes, satan’s new normal is saturating the airwaves and the news media as the homosexual agenda advances, and the traditional family is deteriorating. It is a systemic problem that the Christian coalition is blindly falling into because of unwise counsel or the anti-Christ spirit. Never have I seen so many family men or women suddenly discover that they are “gay”, and leave their children and spouses to explore their new lifestyle. The church pastor is allowed to divorce his wife and still continue to lead the church, and even marry a new “first lady”. This is the enemy folks and it’s a smokescreen.



Our God is a God of restoration. He is a God of order. He is a God of resolution. Whatever issues there are in your marriage, God’s will for us is that we remain in it, if possible. God’s mandate was for man to love his wife like Christ loved the church, and of course Jesus gave His life for the church so what more can we do for our marriage?

Please friends, take it from one who has been there…don’t speak doom into your marriage, speak life into it and God can resurrect it no matter what state it is in. God bless you!

(p.s. Yes, I still have a husband, lol, but not for my lack of being a ‘shrew’, if you will. Thank God for mercy!)


For more info on grounds for divorce reference: The Grounds


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3 responses to “I Want A Divorce!!!

  1. Sandi

    September 3, 2013 at 7:14 AM

    Been there done that and have the paperwork. Thankfully when I hit rock bottom God slapped me upside the head. He showed me my mistakes but only after I prayed for him to show me what I needed changed in me because I couldn’t live with my life the way it was going, and faithfully he did. We had an 18 month old son in the middle of all of this as well. I had always prayed for a strong marriage and knew I was married to whom I was supposed to be married, but had never asked God what I needed to do to make the marriage work. It was always if he changed then I wouldn’t feel this way. It was always someone else’s problem. There were problems with both of us but I didn’t want to see my part or that anything was wrong with me. There was a huge black hole inside of me that I wanted him to fill and a man can’t do that, only God could fill it, and I had been a Christian since age 12. I had never fully let God have control of my life. I had fought depression for years. I loathed myself and if I don’t even love me why would someone else love me? God has answered a few of my prayers in a manner to where I had NO Doubt at all. One was if this was the man I was supposed to marry, and it felt like oil was poured on my head and ran down to my feet. The second was when I asked him to restore our marriage and I clearly heard that if I would do what he asked he would put us back together. It took 7 years to do it but he did. He made me face fears I didn’t even know I had. He made me give up control of everything, and I’m a control freak, including custody of our son, so that all I could rely on was trust in him and him alone. That was hard. I not very willingly gave my ex Primary custody, because God asked me to. Boy i fought that in my heart for weeks. Shot version of a very long but wonderful story. We’ve been remarried almost 7 years now. Long road but worth it. We are too entitled and selfish as a society. That doesn’t work in a marriage. We are empty and longing to be filled and society tells us that these clothes or that car or more empty sex will fill it, but the guilt and anguish grows and makes it deeper.

    • iampastorswife

      September 3, 2013 at 8:22 AM

      Sandi, my sister, thank you for sharing your story! I know that it’s hard to actually face a situation like this and talking about it to others almost seems worse than the situation itself. God wants us to address this issue because it is a prevalent disease spreading throughout our churches and societies and it IS by design. Many of us, especially women, want to put the blame on the man, and as you stated, we pray in error asking God to fix HIM instead of “me”. Remember the old adage, when you point at someone you still have four fingers pointed back at yourself? Lol. I’ve been there, thinking that I’m the dutiful wife by praying that God fix him when it is me with the problems, issues, baggage from my past, etc. This is just what the enemy wants!

      I have found that wanting or being in “control” is nothing more than a spirit, and if we’re not careful it can usher in that jezebel spirit. God told us to cast our care upon Him because He cares for us, which means that control is not of God. I love how you ended your response because it is so true, we seek and we search for “things” to fill us and make us whole when all we really need is God. When my husband used to upset me, I would shop. I had more designer handbags than I could fit in the closet. Then when money got tight I blamed him. It was all a trick; I just needed to seek and acknowledge God for my hurt, but I rarely did. Thank you again Sandi for sharing because I KNOW your post will help someone else. God bless you.


      • Sandi

        September 3, 2013 at 12:34 PM

        Actually it doesn’t bother me to talk about it at all, surprisingly I guess. The hardest part was forgiving myself. I had to just turn my husband over to God or we wouldn’t have made it after we remarried. Amazing what that does.


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