When a Child Dies

04 Jan

Hi Blessed Readers!

I know that it has been a while since I’ve posted but there have been many stumblingblocks to my writing lately, not the least of which is the new job that I’ve acquired. I am now past the trial phase of that job and that means that I have a few spare minutes to share what God has put on my heart.

First let me explain a little bit of what I do. My work is in the healthcare field, and in my day-to-day job I interact with children with not just special needs, but needs that have to be carefully monitored by on-site nurses. I work with children with cerebal palsy, spina bifida, Down’s Syndrome and many other complicated medical issues. Being there everyday with them will cause so much joy, sometimes sadness with setbacks, but most of all it caused me to reevaluate my own life, principles and needs. I know that personally I took for granted that the things I needed or wanted would always be there, because I serve an “on-time God”; even when things seemed to be at their lowest point I knew that God would come through for me.

But what happens when a child dies? Difficult question I’m sure. I cannot answer that because as of this writing I have four healthy children. Their situations may not be what my ideal has been for them, but they are all in good health. I understand how blessed I am because recently a 2 year old child from our healthcare facility had a setback; he was placed into a medically induced coma for treatment and stayed there for about 8 days until the physicians could remove his ventilator. This past weekend we were encouraged by his progress. He was responding to stimuli, his stats stabilized and they were able to take him off of the vent. All signs were good that he would make a full recovery and possibly go into rehabilitation next week. This morning I walked into work and was stunned to find out that he relapsed, was in critical condition was probably would not make it.


God, where are you? You see, those of faith in my job prayed for this child, along with my husband and I, when he first fell ill. This is a child whose parents were told when he was born, that he would never walk, talk and possibly never even open his eyes at all. Despite the odds, this child learned to crawl, walk, say some words and even sing a little bit. He is a miracle to behold and everyone there loves him. However, at this very moment our “miracle” child is lying in the pediatric intensive care unit with the pronouncement that he has no brain activity.

So I asked God today, why? Why this one, when my spirit was settled where his health was concerned? God answered me simply; although I was praying in faith I was also praying selfishly. You know how we do that? We will openly pray and ask God for “Your will be done in this situation Lord”, but what we really mean in our heart is, “Your will be done as long as your will answers my prayers in the way that I want them answered”. Am I right? I am personally because I know that’s what I did. I wanted God’s will to be done in this child’s life, but what I REALLY wanted was for the child to walk back through those doors whole, healthy and happy. I had to ask myself what does this scripture truly mean:

These things have I written unto you that believe on the name of the Son of God; that ye may know that ye have eternal life, and that ye may believe on the name of the Son of God.

And this is the confidence that we have in him, that, if we ask any thing according to his will, he heareth us:

And if we know that he hear us, whatsoever we ask, we know that we have the petitions that we desired of him. – 1 John 5:13-15

“According to His will”. I take this to mean that if we ask anything that is NOT in His will that He turns a deaf ear and doesn’t hear us. Because my prayer was out of God’s will, He did not hear me. In the same manner, Jesus Christ, before being crucified entreated the Father to let that cup pass from him, but soon after stated, “Never the less not my will but thine be done”, and He gave His life for us. That is the type of prayer of faith that we need to pray, believing that regardless of the situation, God has a plan that is according to His will. As I type this message, that child’s parents are signing a Do Not Resuscitate consent form, and in my heart I know that he is already sitting alongside the Master. My flesh is sad, I want to cry but my spirit rejoices for two reasons: 1) Because Heaven just brought home another angel and 2) Because God taught me a valuable lesson about prayer; that it is useless unless I am truly praying in HIS will for HIS will to be carried out in my life and in the lives of those who I am praying for.

Thank you Lord for this child’s life and the lesson that many of us have learned today through his passing. May you keep his parents in perfect peace knowing that He is no longer in pain and waits for them at your feet. God bless those who took the time to read this, and give them the knowledge and understanding of your will that I came to today. In Jesus’ name I pray this, amen.

Happy New Year,



Posted by on January 4, 2013 in Uncategorized


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4 responses to “When a Child Dies

  1. The Latter Days Ministry

    January 5, 2013 at 7:57 AM

    I too have been pondering lately what it means to pray in God’s “will” and in “faith”. A lot of times, we learn to pray just by asking for what we think is the “good” resolution to a situation. I remember once witnessing a car accident and I prayed for the young man who was hit to live, for he as laid out bleeding in the street. Then God replied, “Not everyone lives.” I didn’t understand His comments at the time because wasn’t that what I was supposed to pray for? Wasn’t that the ‘Christian’ thing to do, to pray that this young man’s life be saved? Not once did I stop to ask God what I should pray for in that situation. I was just led by my emotions and even prayed in my emotions. We have to keep in mind that God’s ways are so much higher than our own.

    This world is not the end all be all. Even life in this world is not the most important thing to God, but spending an eternity with Him. A false idolatry about the here and now can even affect our prayer life and have us praying out of His will (as it did for me in the situation up above).

    I will pray for that child’s parents in this, their time of grief. It is always hard when a child dies, but as you say…God knows.

    May we truly seek to pray God’s will; not our own wills, not some soulish perspective of what it means to be a Christian, and not the deceptive desires of the enemy. May we grow stronger in prayer and in the power of His Spirit as we seek to glorify Him in all things.

    Be blessed and encouraged Sister!

    • iampastorswife

      January 6, 2013 at 7:01 PM

      Hello My Sister!

      I apologize for the delayed response; I didn’t notice until just now that your profound comment was sitting in the spam folder. I totally understand what you mean about happening upon an accident and praying in self. I am definitely learning as I go to ask God’s will in these types of situations specifically. I wanted to update this post just a little bit for clarity. When I wrote this on Friday afternoon I did it because God put it on my heart to do so. I had NO intention on writing anything and it took me maybe 15-20 minutes to get all of the words out. I knew that the child had very little brain activity at the time of the writing yet was told by my hospital contacts that there were two tests to determine his viability, but the results would not come back for 24 hours. Well, God told me to blog this post so I knew in my heart that the baby was already gone. A colleague of mine called me yesterday and told me that the baby responded to her grasping his hand, and while my head gathered some hope…again God let me know that the child was already with him, so I did not respond. Today at around 2:00 pm I got the official word from the staff that he had been taken off of the monitors and arrangements were being made. It just solidified God’s omnipresence and omnipotence for me because I trusted Him and His word and I knew that Baby R was safe in his care – no more pain, no more suffering. Like you LDM, I continually pray for his young parents as I know how their world must be rocked right now. They are people of faith and I believe that they understand God’s will. I appreciate you, as always and love you much!


  2. Loddie Resnick

    January 10, 2013 at 1:14 PM

    Hi, what you wrote in your piece stirred up some things in my own heart. There have been instances, certainly not a lot or often, where the Spirit of Christ has clearly revealed to me what to ask for in prayer. In every instance (100%) the Lord has answered that prayer exactly in the way I requested. Such an experience is awesome to say the least. But I have learned that he does that only when he wants to and for his purpose to be fulfilled. The majority of my prayers follow the pattern you revealed about your prayers, “Your will be done as long as your will answers my prayers in the way that I want them answered”. I do not believe God is put off in any way by our praying in that manner because we are trusting children who see through a glass darkly. I call that kind of praying “popcorn prayers” because we often, especially in times of intense heat and pressure happening in our lives, quickly pop out a prayer in the hope it will be answered by God and deliverance forthcoming “according to our desires.”

    Anymore now I try and do, but not always successful, what Jesus told his disciples they did not do when they came to him with a prayer request. “Then James and John, the sons of Zebedee, came to him and said, ‘Teacher, we want you to do for us whatever we ask.’ He said to them, ‘What do you want me to do for you?’ They said to him, ‘Permit one of us to sit at your right hand and the other at your left in your glory.’ But Jesus said to them, ‘You don’t know what you are asking! Are you able to drink the cup I drink or be baptized with the baptism I experience?’” (Mark 10:35-38) When Jesus told them “You don’t know what you are asking!” he was implying the two disciples had not given any serious thought or consideration to what they were praying for and what that might require of them for the answer to happen. They simply wanted something for themselves and asked for it. If they had known what would be required of them for their prayer to be answered perhaps they would have reconsidered and withheld their request.

    I am sure at times our Lord in his mercy and wisdom will give us what we ask for in prayer. But at other times in his mercy and wisdom he will withhold our request because of the severe trails or circumstances we would have to encounter before our prayer could be answered. We must never be hesitant to ask our Heavenly but must always trust him to answer in his time and way even to the denial of our request. Faith is not bullying God to answer our desires but to trust he will always do what is according to his will which is always in our best interest though not necessarily according to our desire.

    I was blessed by what you shared and deeply respect and admire your faithfulness to help children with special needs. Such little ones belong to the kingdom of God and their angels are always before the face of our Heavenly Father.

    Your brother in Christ

    • iampastorswife

      January 14, 2013 at 5:58 AM

      Hi Brother Loddie, Forgive my delay in a response, I have not been receiving notifications lately but when I opened the page this morning I was blessed by what you shared. The Sons of Zebedee story was the perfect one to share on this post because like the brothers we sometimes ask things of God in a childlike manner, not realizing the price that we may eventually have to pay to receive what we ask. I was blessed by reading your response and pray that you will continually seek the things that God has for you!

      God Bless you much my brother!



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