No, sorry, this post is not about who wore what to which awards show, as if that even really matters in the long run. I had an interesting conversation with a lady at my salon about a week ago; many of you know that I go to a bi-weekly appointment, and I relish bringing the Word of God with me and sharing it with anyone that He puts in my path. The last time that I was there I was in the middle of talking to this lady and I suppose I mentioned that my husband was a pastor, and she responded with a side eye and said, “whoa, whoa, back up…you’re a pastor’s wife?” To which I smiled and responded in the affirmative. She had a quizzical look on her face which prompted me to ask what was wrong; well, her response tickled me: “You don’t look like a pastor’s wife”. Ohhh ok, I felt much better. Of course, with me being me I had to play along for a little bit; I asked her, “so what does a pastor’s wife look like”, and she began to stammer and look embarrassed, then she apologized as if she had offended me. To the contrary, I was humored and thankful, but I still wanted to hear her explanation and I waited patiently for it. She stated that I didn’t dress like a first lady, and that whenever she saw me there that I was always casual and laid back (I don’t know what that has to do with looks, but ohkay!). I got it though, I already knew where she was going…
This is what people expect when you mention that you are married to a pastor; elegant, fashionable, totally put-together at all times, flawless! The pictures to the left and right of this text represent an image that people have concerning the awkwardly named “first ladies” of the church, but as I have explained in many blogs, I am not a “first lady”, I am a child of God who happens to be married to a man that preaches the gospel of Christ. Therefore I have no need of a uniform unless it is the armor of God.
To paint a picture of what I look like on a normal day: jeans (love them, as long as they are age-appropriate) or nice slacks, usually a nice black or white blouse, and ballet shoes or flats. No hat, no makeup, possibly hoop earrings and little other accoutrements or adornments. If I’m ever seen with a hat on, it will be a baseball cap until my stylist can “fix” my hair lol. I do not want anyone to think that this blog is about either my appearance or my feelings being hurt by this lady’s comments, nothing could be further from the truth. The reason behind it is because of the deception in the “church” about looks and appearance, especially with the “Easter (that’s a whooole ‘nother blog there!)” season coming up. You see, God didn’t choose me, call me from out among them just so I could be a fashion icon. He called me to be who I am and to lift Jesus up, and to draw people to Him. That’s the mission and purpose of being a child of God, especially one who also happens to be married to a pastor. I have little use for issues like my purse matching my hat or shoes, but there is much purpose in ministering to someone who is caught in sin.
But the Lord said unto Samuel, Look not on his countenance, or on the height of his stature; because I have refused him: for the Lord seeth not as man seeth; for man looketh on the outward appearance, but the Lord looketh on the heart (1 Sam. 16:7).
David’s little self, who would have thought that he would be anointed King? Who knew that generations would follow after Him, and that out of all of Jesse’s strong and muscular sons that David would be chosen? Why do you think that the Pharisees scoffed at Jesus being referred to as king or rabbi? He was not “religious” enough for them, he was not born in the “right place”, and he did not look the part; if the Son of Man had no place to lay His head, surely he wasn’t decked out in the finest robes or ceremonial garb. Jesus was an ordinary man (outward flesh) sent for an extraordinary purpose (inward Spirit), and likewise should the people of God. There is not a single piece of clothing, makeup or jewelry that supersedes the Holy Spirit within us, if we have Him. So back to the conversation at the salon:
I asked the lady, since it was obvious that she had seen me more than once, if she could see Christ in me, and she said, “Oh most definitely, I knew you were a Christian because that’s all you talk about”. This was my response to her in a nutshell, if you can see the Christ in me that is way more important than what’s on the outside; you see, if I dress like a first lady that means that I can put Christ on and take Him off at will, but if people see Christ IN me that means that I am wearing the same thing every day, and I’m sure that pleases God. Her response was, “Oh that’s deep”. You see I’m not concerned with what people see on the outside of me, as long as I can be a humble representative of the kingdom of God, that is all that matters.
There’s an argument for that too! People will say, “well how do you expect to draw people to God if you look a hot mess”? Well, I didn’t say to look a hot mess; you can be presentable, but Jesus did not say, “If I be lifted up from the Earth, and you look fly while lifting me, I will draw all men unto me”, He said, And I, if I be lifted up from the earth, will draw all men unto me (Jn. 12:32), meaning we do the lifting and HE would do the drawing. I am, by no means, denouncing the first ladies of the church as a whole, as I’m sure that there are many spiritually beautiful women representing Christ, and they are allowed to dress however they please; however, I am asking that we not be so spiritually blinded that we expect all pastor’s wives to be top model ready, or elevate them as paragons of virtue because of what they wear. This is unfair to you as a child of God, and probably puts undue pressure on them to present an expected image instead of allowing them the freedom to be just who God made them to be.
Stand fast therefore in the liberty wherewith Christ hath made us free, and be not entangled again with the yoke of bondage (Gal. 5:1).
One day we will all stand before the judgement seat of God, naked, not even a fig leaf to hide us, for He sees us as we are. It’s so good to be free of the bondage of expectation of man!
Get free. Stay free.
iampastorswife – not First Lady 🙂