Hi Blessed Readers!
I know that it has been a while since I’ve posted but there have been many stumblingblocks to my writing lately, not the least of which is the new job that I’ve acquired. I am now past the trial phase of that job and that means that I have a few spare minutes to share what God has put on my heart.
First let me explain a little bit of what I do. My work is in the healthcare field, and in my day-to-day job I interact with children with not just special needs, but needs that have to be carefully monitored by on-site nurses. I work with children with cerebal palsy, spina bifida, Down’s Syndrome and many other complicated medical issues. Being there everyday with them will cause so much joy, sometimes sadness with setbacks, but most of all it caused me to reevaluate my own life, principles and needs. I know that personally I took for granted that the things I needed or wanted would always be there, because I serve an “on-time God”; even when things seemed to be at their lowest point I knew that God would come through for me.
But what happens when a child dies? Difficult question I’m sure. I cannot answer that because as of this writing I have four healthy children. Their situations may not be what my ideal has been for them, but they are all in good health. I understand how blessed I am because recently a 2 year old child from our healthcare facility had a setback; he was placed into a medically induced coma for treatment and stayed there for about 8 days until the physicians could remove his ventilator. This past weekend we were encouraged by his progress. He was responding to stimuli, his stats stabilized and they were able to take him off of the vent. All signs were good that he would make a full recovery and possibly go into rehabilitation next week. This morning I walked into work and was stunned to find out that he relapsed, was in critical condition was probably would not make it.
God, where are you? You see, those of faith in my job prayed for this child, along with my husband and I, when he first fell ill. This is a child whose parents were told when he was born, that he would never walk, talk and possibly never even open his eyes at all. Despite the odds, this child learned to crawl, walk, say some words and even sing a little bit. He is a miracle to behold and everyone there loves him. However, at this very moment our “miracle” child is lying in the pediatric intensive care unit with the pronouncement that he has no brain activity.
So I asked God today, why? Why this one, when my spirit was settled where his health was concerned? God answered me simply; although I was praying in faith I was also praying selfishly. You know how we do that? We will openly pray and ask God for “Your will be done in this situation Lord”, but what we really mean in our heart is, “Your will be done as long as your will answers my prayers in the way that I want them answered”. Am I right? I am personally because I know that’s what I did. I wanted God’s will to be done in this child’s life, but what I REALLY wanted was for the child to walk back through those doors whole, healthy and happy. I had to ask myself what does this scripture truly mean:
These things have I written unto you that believe on the name of the Son of God; that ye may know that ye have eternal life, and that ye may believe on the name of the Son of God.
And this is the confidence that we have in him, that, if we ask any thing according to his will, he heareth us:
And if we know that he hear us, whatsoever we ask, we know that we have the petitions that we desired of him. – 1 John 5:13-15
“According to His will”. I take this to mean that if we ask anything that is NOT in His will that He turns a deaf ear and doesn’t hear us. Because my prayer was out of God’s will, He did not hear me. In the same manner, Jesus Christ, before being crucified entreated the Father to let that cup pass from him, but soon after stated, “Never the less not my will but thine be done”, and He gave His life for us. That is the type of prayer of faith that we need to pray, believing that regardless of the situation, God has a plan that is according to His will. As I type this message, that child’s parents are signing a Do Not Resuscitate consent form, and in my heart I know that he is already sitting alongside the Master. My flesh is sad, I want to cry but my spirit rejoices for two reasons: 1) Because Heaven just brought home another angel and 2) Because God taught me a valuable lesson about prayer; that it is useless unless I am truly praying in HIS will for HIS will to be carried out in my life and in the lives of those who I am praying for.
Thank you Lord for this child’s life and the lesson that many of us have learned today through his passing. May you keep his parents in perfect peace knowing that He is no longer in pain and waits for them at your feet. God bless those who took the time to read this, and give them the knowledge and understanding of your will that I came to today. In Jesus’ name I pray this, amen.
Happy New Year,